Myrna's Lowest Moment. Literally.

Featuring Penumbra and Myrna
Autumn, Year 759 of the New Age
Glenwood, Glenmore

Myrna:

Listening to her mother prattle on about some recent gossip within the herd was about the most boring thing Myrna could think of. Sometimes it contained little nuggets of interest- hush whispers of supposed improprieties and possible instances of impure parentage- but for the most part it was just who had the prettiest hair today and who was courting whom.

At the moment Princess Alana’s faithful hoofmaiden Lady Anura was tending to her princess’ hair, using deft and clever knots of spider silk to arrange a delicate braided pattern that would be broken the instant Princess Alana had to engage in any sort of movement or activity. Luckily for Lady Anura, Princess Alana didn’t believe it was proper for a fully grown princess to frolick or run about or engage in anything of that sort, so her intricate arrangement was safe.

When Princess Alana’s hair was complete- it really was a work of art - Lady Anura turned to Myrna. “Would you like me to do your hair?” she asked in a guarded but unflinchingly polite tone of voice.

Myrna’s relationship with Anura was a strained one. Anura was utterly devoted to her mother and everything her mother stood for. Which is to say, everything Myrna detested about her life in stifling Glenmore high society. For the most part Anura avoided Myrna’s wrath because she simply didn’t have the power to tell Myrna what to do.

At the moment she asked “Would you like me to do your hair?”, Princess Alana’s back was turned so that she might whisper some juicy detail to the buckskin doe she was gossiping with today. Myrna didn’t bother to learn the names of her mothers’ friends; to her they were all interchangable and incurably uninteresting.

“No,” snapped Myrna. “Why on earth would I like you to do my hair? Have I accepted your offer to do my hair the last dozen times you’ve asked? I relented a time or two and allowed it because my mother insisted, but I’ve never liked anything to do with it.”

She turned and glared at the hoofmaiden, swept up in her sudden anger. “What good are you anyway? You toady up to your princess but you have no hope of bettering your station in life. You have no skills that contribute to the well being of the herd. Your so-called talents are an amusement at best and a distraction at worst, keeping us from realizing how stifled we truly are and revolting against our suppressors. So really, what good are you?”

Penumbra:

Penumbra was good at not being noticed. At least when she honestly doesn’t want to be. The ability to simply blend was very extremely useful as a hoofmaiden, to be there when needed  and only then, was a cherished skill. As big as she is, one would think she’d stand out like a sore thumb, but she had long ago mastered the art of  disappearing ‘politely’.

This would be one of those moments.

Princess Fenella has long since wandered off to her own amusements, her hoofmaiden was trusted to be there when it was necessary, and to let her wander as she may, chat and mingle and not stifle her social pursuits. Pen had learned early that such a proper lady often disliked constantly being followed about...particularly when she was snuggling with His Fluffy Majesty.
   
The heavy doe is quite happily leaning against a nearby tree, a statue of silvery hide, and closed eyes, listening as avidly as a mouse would for a fox, an owl its prey.  She may appear to be utterly relaxed, ignoring the byplay between the Maiden and her daughter’s charge. She knew both of them, had spoken with Princess Alana on a few occasions when she was sent to give her notice of something...and she’d always been impressed with the ladies conduct. So proper and sweet, even when asking her Maiden for a necessary duty.

Not an ear twitch betrays the silver shadow listening to Myrna speak, taking in each nasty word, each slight, the aggressive wording, and the lack of consideration to the doe’s feelings that she was currently berating. She couldn’t help feel a defensive anger growing for poor Anura...she also knew that Anura really wasn’t in a position to say a word to the snotty brat, simply because it would jeopardize her own place in the often tentative and cleverly brutal to those who don’t adhere to the social mores…

For now, she would listen, and see how the Maiden responds before taking her own actions.

Myrna:

Lady Anura’s eyes flickered down to the ground and her head drooped in an inoffensive gesture of reconciliation. She glanced back, hoping Princess Alana might intervene but alas, Myrna’s mother was completely engaged in her conversation and was well out of earshot. “A simple ‘no’ would suffice, My Lady…”

That was about as much as Myrna had ever heard the meek doe talk back to anyone. “You didn’t answer my question,” she insisted, standing taller in an aggressive stance and trying to catch Anura’s eye. “What are you good for? Do you grow grass in the spring? Enrich the grazing grounds in winter? Make charms to protect against harm or potions to heal the sick? Why do you waste your time making useless princesses look pretty? It’s not as if they need to catch a stag’s eye with their attractiveness….”

Penumbra

Long silvery ears flick back against her smooth neck as the large doe listens carefully, green eyes narrowing as she hears the nasty words pouring from the snarky little bit of nothing’s foul mouth. A soft huff escapes her, and she pauses a moment, drawing herself up with an air of distinct dignity, and sails out from her hidden spot, mane and tail fluttering behind her.

“Lady Anura, I have been send to collect the Princess for activities.” Penumbra keeps her tone soft and low, as proper for a hoofmaiden, her gaze demurely set and not at all prideful. Hoofmaiden’s were to maintain proper conduct at all time, after all. After a moment, she nods to the other hoofmaiden, and bows slightly to the young Princess, “If you would follow me, Princess?”

The big doe knows the perfect place for revenge, too…

Myrna:

Lady Anura gave a grateful sigh and excused herself quickly. Myrna gave an irritated flick of an ear; she’d really wanted a response.

Turning back to the newcomer. She’d seen the heavy silver doe before; another hoofmaiden she thought, though she couldn’t remember whose. In her mind all hoofmaidens were equally worthless and therefore unworthy of her learning their names. It seemed half of them were incompetent anyway and got asked to leave within a few seasons so what was the point anyway?

“What sort of activity? Sent by whom?” Myrna asked as she stood up and turned to follow. Her mother was still busily engaged in conversation and she couldn’t imagine her father seeking out a hoofmaiden for any reason. If only she could remember who the bulky hoofmaiden belonged to, that might provide a clue but of course she didn’t.


Penumbra:

“One of the Princesses, M’lady. I was told that I would be ideal in this specific tutelage, and that I was to do it in private, as it is a rather secret thing. Only to be trusted with the most specific young minds.” She nods sagely, hiding the duplicity in her eyes with a mild ear flick, and a deferential bow to the young princess.

That said, she wanders off at a stately walk, her tail demurely tucked in, the image of the perfect hoofmaiden. Though, in about ten minutes even the young Myrna wouldn’t be absolutely certain as to how proper the bulky doe was.

“Just a little farther, M’lady.” She intones calmly, continuing to head into the bush to the secret spot she’d long claimed at her own, her green eyes flickering about the secluded glade as they arrived.

“Now...your lesson.”

Myrna:

Myrna twitched an ear in annoyance. “I don’t see any princess. What training are you talking about? If they’re trying to trick me into practicing my magic again I’ll tan someone’s hide and it may just be yours.”

No one seemed to be around though, and Myrna lashed her tail as she peered in every direction. They seemed to be in a secure little glade with poor visibility. “What are you doing here? Are you wasting my time? I can have you fired, you know. What did you say your name was?”

Penumbra:

“I don’t believe I’m wasting either of our times, M’lady, and this has nothing to do with magic.”

The heavy doe doesn’t say a word as to her name, or the constant inane snotty demands spewing from the little brat’s mouth. So much of this little princess reminded her of her own bullies back when they still could hurt her, and she’d seen just how damaging mere words could be.

After a moment of surveying the area, she purses her lips and nods. The place was just as she remembered. Long abandoned from her own childhood, this creche glade had become severely overgrown, and Pen had tested it for sound before...not even the guards twenty yards away could hear whistles or loud singing. It was ideal.

“This is still an extremely important lesson, M’lady. One that all princesses learn, one way or another.”

A soft smile spreads across the patient doe’s lips as she turns towards the young Princess, her green eyes properly fixated on the ground. A moment passes in which she simply stands, tilting her head as she finally speaks, her words polite and sweet, “This is a lesson in humility.”

That said, she lunges forwards with a move that belies her size, head ducking fast to try and catch one of Myrna’s legs upon her twisted horn and flip the brat onto her back with a sharp toss of her head.

Should she succeed, she’d immediately half sit on the Princess. Her wide rump on the ground, using the meaty backs of her rear legs to keep her pinned, forehooves firmly planted on the grassy floor of the clearing.

“And now we begin…”

Myrna:

Myrna squawked- a thoroughly un-princessly sound- as the big doe descended and she found herself pinned under a massive posterior.

She howled in rage and flailed with every inch of leverage she could muster but it was no use. The princess was talented at running away, but once she was caught she had no recourse.

Where were those useless guards? Day and night they watched her with their glassy mindless eyes and now when she needed them they were nowhere to be found. Her father would have a firm talking-to for them, to be sure!

And who was this mountainous mountain goat? Why couldn’t she remember the damn hind’s name or lady? If she’d just bothered to pay attention to the hoofmaiden in the past she would have been able to report her.

Myrna gave a few more furious yells and kicks before realizing the futility of the situation. The doe had her well and truly pinned, and no one could hear her outraged calls for help. Immediately her mind turned to her next scheme; how to escape.

Clearly she would need to appeal to the doe to let her up. That would require figuring out why she’d been so rudely sat upon to begin with. What had she been saying a moment ago? Something about humility?

As suddenly as she stopped struggling, she turned her voice as sweet as honey and dewdrops. “I think I can see your point. Humility. I get it now. Can you let me up, please?”

Penumbra:

Despite the screeches and wriggles, and anger burbling from the whiny little miss under her rump, Penumbra just gazes placidly down at the angry, angry little face. Even after her outright tantrum at being sat on, Myrna is still trying to get out and Pen knows it. She’d heard that syrupy sweet voice from so many Princesses holding both biting and not so biting criticisms that it falls on entirely deaf ears.

The heavy doe can’t quite hold in her snort at the attempt to get herself free, green eyes staring down impassively at Myrna, “Frankly, I don’t believe you. For once in your short, angry life, little bratty hind, I believe someone is actually going to tell you the truth.”

Drawing in a breath, she sighs softly, and begins to speak, “For your information, all Fawnlings, whether commoner, or king, have feelings. I know its clear to everyone else with some sort of conscience…” Her green eyes narrow down at the brat under her meaty thighs, “...but since you seem to be utterly lacking in proper social graces, I have taken it as my duty to enlighten you.”

She leans in close to Myrna’s face, one large hoof setting hard down on the grass mere inches from that pale nose, “Rudeness is disgusting. Attacking fawnlings because they happen to not be of your social level is revolting. No one deserves to be spoken to like they are idiots, or that they have no concept of the words coming out of your mouth. You are rude, crude, and utterly horrific to the poor, poor does that your dam has taken on, and frankly, if I brought it up to the King myself, he would see you punished. No one has the right to browbeat and utterly embarrass anyone else to this level, not even you, not even the Lords, Princes or Princesses. From what I’ve seen, Lady Anura has done nothing but try her hardest to actually understand, and be flexible to what you want. Do NOT say I have no proof. I have seen it, and everyone else has seen it. Every single word, rude and unkind, and outright disgusting has been taken in by a dozen ears, each and every single time you’ve spoken. You don’t think the stags have noticed? That every single buck that you MIGHT have liked has heard how much of a nasty little shrew you are, even at such a young age?”

Pen huffs, champing her teeth together softly before leaning back up, careful to keep a heavy seat on the bratty hind, “Every single hoofmaiden in the herd is ashamed of you. Haven’t you noticed that the only ones that even TRY to help you are young? They have such high hopes, TRYING to be your friend, and to help you, and utterly fail because you have no idea of how NOT be to a terrible lady...no...a terrible decent fawnling with manners, and a sense of goodness.”

Pen snorts an unamused laugh, “Gods, Lord Anrai would make a better princess than you. He, for all his royal fatness, has a sense of duty, and social grace. You? You’re just a fawn that doesn’t deserve what she has because she managed to luck out and be born into the right social group.”

Shaking her head, her heavy mane flying, “You, Myrna, have the ability to be a good doe...but all I’m seeing is a stupid little hind acting on impulse, and not even bothering to TRY and determine that you have the ability to be so much more than you act like. I am NOT going to let you up until I think that some of my words have sunk into the slow little brain of yours, and until that point, you’ll be sitting right where you are.”
And in a mockery of the prior sweet voice, Penumbra chirrups happily out, “Any questions?”

Myrna:

Much to her surprise, some of the big doe’s rant rang true. When she was younger Myrna had occasionally felt pity for hoofmaidens, being stuck in a boring useless sort of life only because they had the misfortune of being born to the king’s cousins rather than his sisters or daughters. Frankly she’d met a few that, had they not been forced to a life of idly hanging around royals and following their inane whims, would have been interesting souls.

Myrna didn’t give a damn what stags thought about her behavior. She didn’t want one, and didn’t anticipate she ever would. Regardless, she would be given away to one so it didn’t much matter what the others thought of her. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt if the one she got stuck with thought well of her, or at least didn’t view her as a venomous brat.
She mulled over the doe’s words and lay still as she thought. Being polite, as tedious as it was, seemed to matter more than Myrna may have realized. The doe was right; hoofmaidens avoided her whenever they could and many of the young royal does avoided playing with her at all. Myrna had cultivated this distance- she didn’t want to hang out with the boring ones anyway- but she couldn’t deny that alienating other fawnlings closed off possible advantageous avenues in the future. Every fawnling who wouldn’t gossip in her presence was a possible nugget of information she was missing out on. Every fawn who wouldn’t play with her was a possible acquaintance of someone she might someday need to know.

So, as loathe as she was to admit it, this great thumping goat of a hoofmaiden was right. It would behoove her to behave herself. If nothing else, being mean to lesser herd members was costing her possibly opportunities.

It was a long moment before she spoke, and her words were quiet and somber when she did. “I think I understand. If you don’t mind I think… I think I shall go apologize to Lady Anura.”

She took in a big shaky breath and added “I hear Lady Galinda is holding a class on manners and royal decorum later this year. I think… my mother has been saying I should attend. Perhaps… I think perhaps she is right.”

She cleared her throat and looked up at the doe. “I’m very sorry for the distress I’ve caused Lady Anura, and all the others. In the future I will try to stand in their footprints before I lose my temper like that again.”

Penumbra:

The heavy hoofmaiden peers dubiously down at the fawn below her large rump, green eyes shrewd. It was a hard sell to the big doe to believe any word coming from the mouth of the often snarky little brat. She could hear the honesty within the little hind’s words, and giving Myrna the benefit of the doubt was the only way to handle this kind of a situation. Alright. The fact that Myrna had actually listened to her words was definitely a step in the right direction.

Tilting her head, she listens as Myrna speaks, nodding slightly as the young hind vows to apologize. “Considering how rare kindnesses are in the world today, any apology I’m sure it would be appreciated, Princess.”

That said, Penumbra lifts her heavy legs, and rolls to the side, hauling herself gracefully to her hooves, long mane briefly sliding to cover half of her face. A simple toss of her head, and she turns to peer avidly at the young hind, deciding that she doesn’t need to say anything more to hammer home the point. If Myrna misbehaves again, Pen can always simply take this particular tactic once again. Not that she was dumb enough to actually say that. The first few times the hind might fall for it, but Pen wasn’t about to give her any advantages in this instance.

A low sigh escapes the heavy doe as she shakes herself, long tail swiping away any leaf litter that had happened to stick to her haunches, her green eyes glancing into the bushes surrounding their little hiding place. Moving a few paces towards the leafy barrier, she glances back at Myrna, “I’m glad we had this talk. Hopefully we won’t need to make use of this space again.”

That said, she smiles, and simply slips through the encircling brush, her whole demeanor serene and worry free. If there needed to be a second time, likely it would be a lot less pleasant.

Myrna:

Myrna continued to lie on the ground for a moment after the doe released her from her undignified captivity and sauntered off, clearly pleased with herself. The flattened princess thought for half a second about trying to find out the doe’s name and have her reprimanded, but then thought better of it. The doe had probably been blowing off steam from her own royal or princess related headaches. If Myrna wanted to avoid a repeat of this, it was best not to poke the hornet’s nest again.

As she stumbled to her feet she considered running straight home and reneging on all the promises she’d just made. But really, what would it hurt? If she took the stupid manners classes she would fit in better with the royals. All the better to keep up with all the scandalous gossip.

And apologizing to Lady Anura. Though unpleasant, that was a necessary task. She had no choice but to spend time with the doe, after all, and the hoofmaiden had- or at least had tried to- shown her kindness.

She sighed and lumbered dramatically to her feet, shaking the grass out of her hair. At least for one day she might practice a bit of humble civility. What could it hurt?